jasoncrane.org » Random Musings

POEM: the Jewish girls are running

Jason Crane — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 03:52:10 +0000

the Jewish girls are running

the Jewish girls are running
long black skirts
fanning out behind them
long dark pony tails
flapping against their
understated sweaters
they’re laughing, these
anachronistic young women
speaking Hebrew
shouting to one another
in voices they’ll soon lose

not far away, their future selves
are pushing strollers
filled with the next generation
mothers with perfect wigs
under knit hats, wearing
the same skirts and sweaters
with some allowance
for the changes of childbirth
they are beautiful
resigned, sad, dutiful
born into a life sentence
with no chance of parole

or so imagines the atheist
who finds it all a bit ridiculous
from his lofty perch
sitting all alone with
a copy of The Stranger
at a concrete chess table
in the park

18 April 2012
Brooklyn NY

/ / /

It’s National Poetry Writing Month! A poem a day, each day in April.

Welcome to jasoncrane.org!

Jason Crane — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 13:47:13 +0000

Hi there! Thanks for visiting jasoncrane.org. This post is always at the top of the site to help you find your way around.

This is primarily a poetry blog. You can scroll down for my latest poems, or select the My Poetry category to get ‘em all. Most of my poems have audio recordings, too, so you can hear as well as read them.

If you’d like a larger selection of performed poetry, please visit the Recorded Readings page, where you’ll find a collection of my featured readings from the past couple years.

Foothills Publishing was kind enough to publish my first book of poems in 2010, Unexpected Sunlight. Get your copy in the store. Makes a great gift, too, particularly for someone of whom you’re not all that fond.

Over on the top right of this page is a navigation menu. Farther down on the right side is a list of categories. Both of these menus will help you find specific content on the site.

I’m quite active on Twitter. You can follow me at @jasondcrane. And you’re always welcome to email me at jason@jasoncrane.org.

That’s it. Enjoy the site!

PHOTO: Dead doll in Brighton Beach

Jason Crane — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 01:19:19 +0000

Click to enlarge

PHOTO: The IP address of the beast

Jason Crane — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 01:15:04 +0000

Click to enlarge

A friend asked if I’d ever tried online dating…

Jason Crane — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 07:05:10 +0000

…I told her the last time I was dating, there was no such thing as “online.”

POEM: Hanabi

Jason Crane — Sat, 16 Jul 2011 22:29:00 +0000

Hanabi

I’m beginning to suspect New York isn’t real
walking the High Line under a full moon
fireworks booming off the Battery

“people” stop in every shadow
kissing, clinging
breathing each other in

along the way is a hotel with no curtains
where lovers young and old put on a show
for the second-story handholders

I can’t help laughing, struggling
to suspend my disbelief that such a place
(such a night) could exist

in the Hudson are the half-submerged pilings
of long-dead piers, incomplete stories
washed away by the water

we are writing our own story
inscribing it under the full moon
while the fireworks light the Battery sky

Wow! The LA Times names me one of 25 to follow on Twitter

Jason Crane — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 00:06:37 +0000

Thank you to the LA Times’ Culture Monster column for naming me as one of 25 arts & culture people to follow on Twitter.

The article
Follow my personal account (the one mentioned in the article) at twitter.com/jasondcrane and follow the show’s account at twitter.com/JazzSesh
Follow the other jazz folks mentioned in the article: twitter.com/paynic, twitter.com/nextbop and twitter.com/blogsupreme
Follow Culture Monster at twitter.com/culturemonster

Three things that make me feel (slightly) patriotic

Jason Crane — Sat, 09 Jul 2011 20:40:52 +0000

The US Men’s National Soccer Team. (Nothing against the women’s team at all, it’s just that my family and I have followed the men’s team for years and have built up an emotional connection to the team.)

The Four Freedoms Room at the Normal Rockwell Museum in Stockbridge, MA. This might be as close as I get to a sacred space.

Dan Aykroyd’s speech during “Green Onions” from the Blues Brothers’ Made In America: Listen to “Green Onions” (mp3)

Some thoughts on hugging

Jason Crane — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 17:03:03 +0000

I’ve always been a fan of hugging. I grew up in a demonstrative family and then lucked out in high school, finding a small group of cool friends who weren’t afraid to be physically affectionate. Everybody hugged everybody, regardless of gender or orientation.

The older I got, the less hugging factored into my interactions. I still hugged people sometimes, but I found that many people were uncomfortable with it – particularly other men – so I did it less and less. I remember having a conversation with a friend in Rochester about how little physical affection people show to one another on a daily basis in the U.S. We had both lived in other countries and experienced very different attitudes toward physical intimacy. Even in Japan, with what most outsiders would consider a very formal culture, it was common to see men, particularly of my generation, with their arms around one another and touching one another without being self-conscious about it.

Over the past couple years I’ve tried to put more frequent hugging back in my repertoire and have discovered a number of fairly standard reactions.

1. Good hugs

Some folks just get it. They put their arms around you and give you a strong – but not crushing – embrace that doesn’t involve back-patting or awkward chuckling. Those hugs make the world seem like a pretty good place, and, for me at least, give me a real sense of well-being, respect and love.

2. Molecular hugs

These are the hugs where one person is really giving a hug and the other person is trying to touch as few molecules of the hugger’s body as possible. These hugs seem to be motivated by a belief that hugging is what is socially required (particularly in certain political/activist/liberal/progressive circles, I’ve noticed) juxtaposed against the person’s strong desire to not be hugged. The weird thing about these hugs is that it’s most often the person who doesn’t want to be physically affectionate who initiates the hug. Again, I think as a sort of expected social interaction.

3. Burping-the-baby hugs

Apparently some people can only equate hugging with burping a baby. That’s the only explanation I can come up with for those hugs that involve lots of back-patting. Unless I’ve just told you that I’m feeling bloated and I ask for your help, I don’t need to be patted. Like the molecular hug, this always has the feel of obligation attached to it rather than a true desire for connection.

4. Guy-on-guy hugs

When these are done right (a la #1 above) they’re a rare and wonderful affirmation of shared humanity. Most of the time, though, they’re either the one-hand-clasped-half-hug or the awkward-chuckle hug. It’s 2011 and there are still many men who are completely shocked by the idea of receiving a hug from another man.

5. Surprise hugs

These are a subtle variation of #1 above. For me, receiving a hug from someone when you didn’t expect that level of connection is a wonderful surprise. I find this happens most often in my work as an interviewer. I always shake hands with the artists I interview when I first arrive and that’s usually what happens at the end, too. But every once in a while the guest will give me a hug at the end, which feels great because it means we’ve made a real connection during the interview. These hugs always make my day. Once in a while, I mess them up.

/ / /

So there’s my list. Not comprehensive, I’m sure. And you may have your own take on why some of these hugs happen. If so, feel free to share them in the comments. Then go hug somebody!

My new self-help book is now available!

Jason Crane — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 15:43:11 +0000

Joy

Jason Crane — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 21:08:22 +0000

I’ve been spending a lot of time recently thinking about joy.

Today, for example, I was coming back from a jazz interview in Chinatown, listening to a mix of classic Stevie Wonder tunes from the 70s. I was on a subway platform walking from one train to the next with “Please Don’t Go” in my ears. It got to that part where Stevie goes into the chorus for the final time. The backing vocals kick in holding out long “aaahs” and the song modulates up a step. The feeling of happiness — of pure joy — was so intense that I could feel it in my stomach and I got that feeling around the eyes that you get when you’re almost-but-not-quite crying. I was in love with everyone and imagined they were all in love with me. I’m sure I had a huge smile on my face and I was dancing just a little while trying not to look like a nut. Probably trying and failing.

That feeling — an almost unbearable joy — happens most often for me with music, but it happens at other times, too. These days I’m focused on it because, to the external observer, my life offers few reasons to be joyous. I’m unemployed. I’m sleeping on my parents’ couch. My wife and I separating. Amicably, but it’s still a huge change after 15 years of marriage. My kids live in another state and it’s not clear when we’ll all live near one another again.

Those circumstances present two problems. One issue is that they’re not conditions that lend themselves to feelings of happiness. By most objective measures of success, my life is a bit of a shambles, in the same way the Titanic was “a bit of a disaster.” In fact, a few months ago my mom likened being my mother to being on a cruise ship during a huge storm. (OK, she actually said “during a tsunami,” but that’s a very charged word right now, particularly given my family ties to Japan.) Finding moments of happiness, or a path toward sustained happiness, is quite a challenge these days. Or at least it ought to be.

However — and this is the other issue — I’m actually happy a lot of the time. I love being in New York. I love talking with all the musicians I interview. I’m thrilled to be closer to many of my friends (although saddened to be farther from a few of them). I’m doing interesting things every day, in addition to writing a million cover letters and living off the state/parents dole. I’m excited about the personal transformation I’m going through and the possibilities it presents for love and fulfillment and growth. And I often wonder whether it’s OK to be feeling this way at all.

I don’t know if it’s because of youthful religious conditioning, or the effects of chronic and lifelong depression, or the way many of us in this country are conditioned to think, or some combination of all three, but I have a hard time accepting happiness. Actually being happy. When I’m walking down the subway platform and feeling so much joy that I want to start hugging strangers, there’s always that little voice in the back of my head warning me again these feelings of happiness. How can I be happy when I don’t have a job? When I’m not providing any material assistance to my kids, with whom I’m not even living?

There’s no easy answer. But I guess what I’ve come up with is that I’d rather find and hold onto these moments of joy than give in to the moments of despair. I’d rather be optimistic about the future. I’d rather work on becoming a happy, healthy, fulfilled and loving person — the kind of person I want my kids to have for a dad. Maybe I’m letting myself off the hook and maybe some of you reading this think I’ve got no right to be happy. But I’ve been keeping myself on a hook for years and years, and I’m ready to try something different.

So today I danced on a subway platform to Stevie Wonder. And tomorrow I hope to do the same thing.

10 Things, Day Ten: One confession (final day!)

Jason Crane — Sat, 19 Feb 2011 13:00:21 +0000

The wonderful musician Jill Knapp posted this on her LiveJournal blog and I really dug the idea. This is day nine. Links to the previous entries are at the bottom of this post.

Day Ten: One confession

1. Although I love jazz, it isn’t my favorite kind of music.

Day One: Ten Things You Want To Say To Ten Different People Right Now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four things you want in a romantic partner
Day Eight: Three of your favorite possessions
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life or yourself right now
Day Ten: One confession

10 Things, Day Nine: Two images that describe your life or yourself right now

Jason Crane — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 12:00:07 +0000

The wonderful musician Jill Knapp posted this on her LiveJournal blog and I really dug the idea. This is day nine. Links to the previous entries are at the bottom of this post.

Day Nine: Two images that describe your life or yourself right now

10 Things, Day Eight: Three of your favorite possessions

Jason Crane — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 12:00:30 +0000

The wonderful musician Jill Knapp posted this on her LiveJournal blog and I really dug the idea. This is day eight. Links to the previous entries are at the bottom of this post.

Day Eight: Three of your favorite possessions

1. My grandpa’s “Purple Moon” painting

2. The last remaining section of the wallpaper mural that hung in every home my grandparents lived in for more than 50 years. It depicts what looks like a Parisian scene along a river.

3. A framed drawing made by my friend Hisae Higuchi that says “Much Love / Many Kisses / Many Dreams / Many Smiles / Much Jazz” in English and Japanese.

10 Things, Day Seven: Four things you want in a romantic partner

Jason Crane — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 12:00:21 +0000

The wonderful musician Jill Knapp posted this on her LiveJournal blog and I really dug the idea. This is day seven. Links to the previous entries are at the bottom of this post.

Day Seven: Four things you want in a romantic partner

1. Spontaneity. Someone who might come into the room and kiss me for no reason at all. And who would enjoy that in return.

2. Gentleness. Someone who enjoys a tender touch, both as the giver and the receiver.

3. Independence. Someone with a full and happy life, and with some interests and passions and connections that are different from mine.

4. Attachment. The corollary to #3. Different than dependence. Someone who is happy when I’m around and would like to spend time with me.

10 Things, Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)

Jason Crane — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 12:00:37 +0000

The wonderful musician Jill Knapp posted this on her LiveJournal blog and I really dug the idea. This is day six. Links to the previous entries are at the bottom of this post.

Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)

1. My son Bernie, who inspires me every day to be a better person.

2. My son John, whose kindness and love recharge my batteries.

3. Douglas Adams, who greatly influenced the way I look (and laugh) at the world.

4. Lenny Bruce, who demonstrated the importance of courage and speaking the truth.

5. If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you mean a lot to me, too.

10 Things, Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done

Jason Crane — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 12:00:16 +0000

The wonderful musician Jill Knapp posted this on her LiveJournal blog and I really dug the idea. This is day five, and by far the most difficult list thus far. Links to the previous entries are at the bottom of this post.

Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done

1. Said “no” that one time.

2. Had an argument with one of my best friends the other night.

3. Moved back to the northeastern U.S.

4. Taken so many years off from meditating.

5. Gained 87 gazillion pounds.

6. Stopped playing music for a living.

10 Things, Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot

Jason Crane — Sun, 13 Feb 2011 12:00:25 +0000

The wonderful musician Jill Knapp posted this on her LiveJournal blog and I really dug the idea. This is day four. Links to the previous entries are at the bottom of this post.

Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot

1. I miss my kids.

2. Despite not having any reason to be, I’m fairly optimistic about the future.

3. I really, really, really love music.

4. I wish ( ) were here.

5. Time to eat.

6. I would like to go back to ( ).

7. (I would write “time to eat” again for comic effect, but instead I’ll say…) I should write a poem about that.

10 Things, Day Three: Eight Ways To Win Your Heart

Jason Crane — Sat, 12 Feb 2011 12:00:25 +0000

The wonderful musician Jill Knapp posted this on her LiveJournal blog and I really dug the idea. This is day three. Links to the previous entries are at the bottom of this post.

Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart

1. Listen. This is a very underdeveloped skill in many people and it means the world to me. I promise I’ll listen back.

2. Cuddle. Maybe my favorite thing to do in the world.

3. Laugh. I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh.

4. Ride. Bikes, I mean.

5. Be passionate about music. It doesn’t have to be the same music I like, but I can’t really relate to people who don’t love music.

6. Be passionate about other things, too. Go out in the world and make it a little better. I’m very attracted to passionate, involved people.

7. Be a Lenny Bruce and Douglas Adams nut. OK, this is a rare combination. Maybe we can let #7 slide.

8. Enjoy kissing. A close second behind #2 on my list of ways to spend time.

10 Things, Day Two: Nine things about yourself

Jason Crane — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 12:00:46 +0000

The wonderful musician Jill Knapp posted this on her LiveJournal blog and I really dug the idea. This is day two. A link to the previous entry is at the bottom of this post.

Day Two: Nine things about yourself

1. I’m much more comfortable in front of 1,000 people than in a small room with three.

2. Winter and I are not friends. In fact, I hate winter with a desperate passion bordering on mania.

3. I do not have a waiting period between deciding you’re nice and deciding we’re friends. Some folks find this disconcerting.

4. Speaking of friends, I rely on mine to keep me sane. Probably much more than they’d like.

5. I make good guacamole.

6. As much as I like to think I have a nuanced view of the world, the truth is that I see many things in stark, good/evil terms.

7. I love making people laugh. Really a lot.

8. I write poetry because under my mean, callous, heartless exterior, I really want to be loved. (Points for anyone who names the reference.)

9. The main thing that drives my actions is that I love people. Not in a customer-service-job way. It’s more like a deep passion for human beings and a desire to make my little corner of the world a nicer one.

10 Things, Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

Jason Crane — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 05:16:29 +0000

The wonderful musician Jill Knapp posted this on her LiveJournal blog and I really dug the idea. So here are my ten.

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

1. Things are weird now, but not weird enough that I’m not completely aware of the amazing positive effect you’ve had on my life.

2. It was great to hear those songs from all those years ago and remember what it felt like to hear them for the first time.

3. We still have a long way to go.

4. I wish I’d made a different decision when you were ready for me to make it.

5. I need you to be a resident of The-Little-Island-Where-People-Support-Me.

6. I think it’s amazing how much you pay attention to the little things that define your experiences.

7. You have the most joyous smile I’ve ever seen.

8. I wish I’d been better about keeping in touch, so from now on I will be.

9. You should go see the important person you need to go see, OK?

10. We will figure this out together. It may take a while, but we will.

Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).
Day Seven: Four things you want in a romantic partner.
Day Eight: Three of your favorite possessions.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life or yourself right now.
Day Ten: One confession

Announcing my new poetry zine!

Jason Crane — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 13:39:29 +0000

Today’s the day! The first issue of my new poetry zine, Daylight Robbery, is available today. It features work by Aaron Belz, Molly Lawless, John Gallaher, Carol Graser and Alan Casline. The cover illustration is by Carolee Sherwood.

Learn more at the SNAFU Press site.

UPDATE: Aaron Belz (who’s in issue #1) mentions Daylight Robbery on his blog.

The Celtic Ripper

Jason Crane — Sat, 25 Dec 2010 17:01:14 +0000

I got a high-end chef’s knife and a Bill Russell #6 Celtics jersey for Xmas. I will henceforward be known as The Celtic Ripper. Beware!

Click to enrippen.

Citizen Radio Live!

Jason Crane — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 04:45:28 +0000

I had such a great time tonight at the UCB Theater in New York watching Citizen Radio live. Here are the photos I took. I love this podcast and highly recommend it. I’m also a member, and I recommend that, too. You can learn more at wearecitizenradio.com.

Happy Birthday, Lenny Bruce!

Jason Crane — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 14:04:13 +0000

Happy Birthday to one of my heroes. Lenny Bruce was born this day in 1925. Here are two poems inspired by Lenny: “A Photograph Of Lenny” and “Gerry & Lenny”.

Why I became a vegan

Jason Crane — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 20:48:52 +0000

I’ve been a vegan for 24 hours and have already started fielding questions from friends and acquaintances about why I made this decision. Many of my friends (in particular, Jenn Cornish) have offered words of support and resources for navigating this new world. Thanks, all.

The Chain Of Events

If you’re reading this blog, you probably know something about me and the various things I’ve done with my life thus far. I’ve been a fairly active progressive as a union organizer, Green candidate for local office, anti-war organizer and bicycling advocate. During all that time, I’ve also been eating beef and chicken and fish and dairy products, and lots of them. Given that 99% of that meat comes from creatures who are abused, caged and tortured to varying degrees, that practice is ethically inconsistent with how I try to live the rest of my life. Up until this weekend, I just compartmentalized that issue and chalked it up to “it’s a complex world and you have to pick your battles.” Plus, I really like sushi and tonkatsu and eel and karaage and chicken flautas and and and.

Over the past week, I’ve been overdosing on past episodes of the show Citizen Radio, hosted by comedian Jamie Kilstein and political writer Alison Kilkenny. They are both vegans and couch their veganism in terms of social justice. That’s a very compelling argument and one that, as I mentioned, I’ve been willfully ignoring. On a recent show, they interviewed the progressive punk band Rise Against. At the end of the interview, Alison and Jamie asked the band to recommend things they found inspiring, and one of the band members recommended the book Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer. I got it from the library on Thursday and became a vegan yesterday.

Why Not A Vegetarian?

I initially thought I’d become a vegetarian and then maybe move on to being a vegan. The more I read about the issues, though, the more vegetarianism seems to fall short of the mark from an ethical and social justice perspective. It’s nearly impossible in this country to get dairy products or eggs from a source other than factory farming. I’m slightly more ambivalent about folks who raise their own chickens in small numbers to collect their eggs. Some of my very closest friends do this and care deeply for their chickens. They treat them humanely and let them live natural lives. These people are certainly the exception, not the rule, however, so it’s easier for me to cut those things out completely. (There’s also the fact that even the most humane treatment involves caging animals, but I haven’t really reached an opinion on this yet.)

I also like the idea of limiting animal consumption in other ways than just food. Being a vegan can impact the clothes and chemicals I use and some of the social interactions I have, and it also fits well with my anti-corporate philosophy.

Now What?

Well, now I have a lot of learning to do. I bought a vegan cookbook and got quite a few other resource suggestions from Jenn Cornish. I also need to examine the other areas of my life and the other purchases I make to see what needs to be modified and what alternatives exist. Citizen Radio is sponsored by Vegan Essentials, which is one source of products (not just food) made to vegan standards.

I also need to find more vegetables that I like and more ways to prepare them. I’ve never been a huge veggie fan, so I’m looking forward to expanding my horizons. I already eat (and in some cases cook) a lot of Japanese food without meat or fish or chicken, and I’m also a big fan of Indian food. I hope to add some other cuisines to my diet as well.

Another book I’m reading, Vegan Freak: Being Vegan in a Non-Vegan World (Tofu Hound Press), suggested going “cold tofu” — become a vegan and commit to it for three weeks, with the idea that at the end of that time it will be easy to keep going. So that’s what I’m doing. Wish me luck!

Walt Franklin at Pine Hollow Arboretum

Jason Crane — Sun, 26 Sep 2010 01:41:19 +0000

From 100925 Pine Hollow Arboretum

Here are photos from my trip to Pine Hollow Arboretum in Slingerlands, NY. I took a tour of the grounds and then heard Walt Franklin read his poetry and travelogues. What a wonderful afternoon (with a nice bike ride there and back, too). At the bottom of this post is a video of Walt reading an excerpt from one of his longer poems about trees.

Violating a law (of nature)

Jason Crane — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 17:11:06 +0000

I asked my landlord for a weed wacker / and he gave me a slingblade

No, that’s not the first line of a terrible, Billy-Bob-Thornton-inspired blues song. Read on.

For those of you who know me even slightly, you know there is one underlying philosophy that informs every aspect of my life. It is the beacon of wisdom that lights my way forward, and it is this:

I hate manual labor, especially if it occurs outside.

So when I asked my landlord to borrow a weed wacker so I could clean up our side of the block, I fully expected to be pulling a crank line and buzzing my way down the street. Instead, I had a lovely opportunity to study the life of a 19th-century farmer as I hacked and chopped my way down the street.

Before we go to the video, allow me to mention two other facts:

It was 78 degrees Farenheit
The humidity was 96%

Let’s go to the tape:

The key is…

Jason Crane — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 02:54:48 +0000

I thought it was a good sign that the key to my new apartment contains a partial line of Shakespeare:

Click to enlarge

Three observations: Thumbs up, Fats & Kassav’

Jason Crane — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 13:31:07 +0000

Good morning! Here are three things I’ve been thinking about this morning:

1. Has the “thumbs up” gesture completely replaced the “OK” gesture?
OR

2. Fats Domino turns 82 today. Huzzah!

3. The album Kassav’ au Zenith is, to my ear, one of the greatest live records ever made. If this album doesn’t dispel your blues, nothing will. But don’t take my word for it. Check it out for yourself:

Speed limit

Jason Crane — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 20:33:15 +0000

NOTE: Your hat may not exceed 15 mph.

Three observations: Depeche Mode, Dump Trucks, Duncan Hunter

Jason Crane — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 13:23:04 +0000

Listening to Depeche Mode’s Black Celebration album on the way to work is an interestingly bizarre way to start the day.
Dump truck signs that read “Construction Vehicle – Do Not Follow” are inappropriate far more often than they’re appropriate.
Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-CA) is a bigot. Enjoy!

People for whom I’m thankful (an incomplete list)

Jason Crane — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 03:33:31 +0000

A small sampling of people for whom I’m thankful. Not complete and in no particular order, but worth writing. I may add to it, too.

Jennifer: 14+ years of putting up with me. I don’t know how she does it. Or, for that matter, why.

Bernie & John: It’s incredible to be unconditionally loved by your kids. Plus, they’re fun to wrestle with.

Mom, Dad and Gretchen: What haven’t we been through? Actually, skip that question, because I’m finding out that this year there are quite a few new and unpleasant answers. They’re always there, though, and that’s amazing.

Linda, Todd & Sarah, Tammy, Dick, Denise & John, Lynne & Mike & Jack & Grace, Jill, Jimmy & Karen: Couldn’t ask for a better family.

Carol, Amy & Michele, Sandy & Carol Jr. & Autumn, Dorothy & Ethan, Kit & Sue, et al: Couldn’t ask for a better second family.

Bernard & Dorothy Flanders: My debt to them can never be repaid.

Jeff & Leeann & Jake: They know how to be friends, which is a hell of a lot rarer than you might think. And one of these days, Jeff and I will have a very successful show together. Probably a strip-tease show.

Kevin & Jen & Momo: My oldest friend (and his wife, who would probably be disturbed to learn that she’s my second- or third-oldest friend). Uncompromisingly honest and loving people with a real cute kid.

Josh & Jen: Smart, funny and wonderful. Josh is always expanding my world, which is just about the highest compliment I can pay.

Team RocBike: You couldn’t ask for a better gang to ride with, blog with, and be positively influenced by.

The musicians, promoters and record labels who’ve made The Jazz Session possible: What can I say? “Beyond my wildest expectations”? Yeah, that about covers it.

Chuck & Bobby D: Never were two guys more accepting of my crazed need to wave at everybody. Plus, they pick good tunes.

Jo & James: Even kinder than they are talented. And they’re supremely talented.

Sue & Jenny & Katie-Kate & Elinor: Love ‘em, love ‘em, love ‘em. (And miss ‘em, too!)

Tom & Susan: Beautiful people who made Raymond Street just barely tolerable.

Satoru: Pops up when I least expect it, and is always welcome when he does. One of those people you know will be there when you need him.

Otto: He understands and inspires.

The members of the Rotary Club of Albany: Nice people doing nice things, as Harry Shearer would say. Except in this case, it’s true.

Real photos — NOT edited in any way

Jason Crane — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 20:12:02 +0000

Yes, folks, these incredibly rare images depict me doing actual work on an actual vehicle. I am seen here hanging a tailpipe on the 1997 Ford Ranger my parents gave us. My assistant is clearly in violation of child labor laws.

Auto Repair 101 … or maybe just 1

Perfection

Jason Crane — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 02:07:52 +0000

“Perfection (in design) is achieved not when there is nothing more to add, but rather when there is nothing more to take away.” Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Dan Wilcox reviews the Yes, Reading! in Albany

Jason Crane — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 00:36:22 +0000

Dan does his usual good job of chronicling the Albany poetry scene.

The world in numbers

Jason Crane — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 20:45:19 +0000

Thanks to Bookninja for the link.

Drifters. Animation. Xmas tunes. What’s not to like?

Jason Crane — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 20:23:04 +0000

Fifty People, One Question

Jason Crane — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:28:19 +0000

New Orleans

Fifty People, One Question: New Orleans from Benjamin Reece on Vimeo.

New York

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Fifty People, One Question: New York from Crush & Lovely on Vimeo.

All my jobs

Jason Crane — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 04:14:32 +0000

Douglas Adams has always been one of my favorite authors. Coincidentally, he also shared a birthday with my younger son.

I like that Douglas always listed his bizarre collection of previous jobs on his book jackets. So here, for the record, and in approximate chronological order, are my previous jobs:

Grocery stock clerk, cashier, bank teller, waiter, professional musician, radio announcer, television/radio script writer, Web site editor, newspaper and wire-service copy editor, radio reporter, newspaper page designer, union organizer, nonprofit development director, radio station manager, talk show host, stay-at-home dad, union organizing director and union representative.

Some of these jobs happened more than once, but I just listed each title one time.

Yoikes!

What has become of me?

Jason Crane — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 21:33:34 +0000

The photo says it all:

“A respected image consultant once said that the average person who wears a bow tie is distrusted by all. What all bow tie wearers know is that an average person would never be wearing a bow tie in the first place.”

– Owen Edwards for Town and Country

A new look at shaving

Jason Crane — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 00:52:52 +0000

Several years ago, I tried shaving with a shaving mug and brush, plus some Burt’s Bees shaving soap. I used a Gillette Sensor razor, and just didn’t see that big a difference.

For Christmas, Jen bought me some Nutragena Men’s Triple Protect Face Lotion. I decided to take out the mug and brush again. This time, I bought some shaving soap from Herban Cowboy. Even with the modern-day razor, I’ve been enjoying the new feel and the more relaxed, mindful shaving experience.

Then I discovered A Guide To The Gourmet Shaving Experience at the Leisure Guy site. I took his advice and bought a safety razor from ClassicShaving.com. The model I bought — a Merkur “Futur” from Germany — arrived today. I’m going to take my first-ever whack at shaving with a safety razor in the morning. I’m excited, which is a crazy thing to say about shaving.

Welcome to the future

Jason Crane — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 03:31:16 +0000

From the brilliant xkcd.com.

Rally to support restoration of judiciary and civil liberties in Pakistan

Jason Crane — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 17:05:29 +0000

My friend Mara Ahmed sent me this today:

Rally to support restoration of judiciary and civil liberties in Pakistan

Date: Sunday November 18, 2007
Time: 2.00pm – 3.30pm
Place: Twelve Corners in Brighton

SOLIDARITY

PLEASE JOIN THE PAKISTANI AMERICAN COMMUNITY IN UPSTATE NEW YORK IN A DEMONSTRATION OF SOLIDARITY WITH THE PEOPLE OF PAKISTAN IN THEIR STRUGGLE FOR THE RULE OF LAW.

WE WILL HOLD A DEMONSTRATION ON SUNDAY NOVEMBER 18 FROM 2:00 PM TO 3:30 PM AT TWELVE CORNERS IN BRIGHTON.

THE PUROPOSE OF THE DEMONSTRTATION IS TO EXPRESS OUR DESIRE TO PRESERVE THE INDEPENDENCE OF THE JUDICIARY AND TO RESTORE THE RULE OF LAW AND THE CONSTITUTION OF PAKISTAN .

IF YOU CHERISH FREEDOM, LIBERTY , CIVIL RIGHTS AND DEMOCARACY JOIN US TO SHOW OUR RESOLVE TO THE WORLD THAT WE WILL NO LONGER ACCEPT TRAMPLING OVER CIVIL LIBERTIES AND OVER JUDICIAL INDEPENDENCE IN OUR HOME COUNTRY.

AS A SIGN OF UNITY WITH THE LAWYERS WHO ARE SPEARHEADING THE STRUGGLE IN PAKISTAN PLEASE WEAR BLACK AND WHITE WHEN YOU COME.

Dante E. Cheese’s

Jason Crane — Sun, 04 Nov 2007 00:31:26 +0000

Oh. My. Holy. God.

I’ve never actually read Dante’s Inferno, but I’m pretty sure I remember hearing that in it, Hell has nine levels. I think maybe Judas Iscariot is at the bottom, frozen in ice or something like that. According to British comedian Ben Elton, right below Judas is an editor from the British tabloid The Sun. Well, tonight I discovered who’s right below him, and this is what he looks like:

Today is Bernie’s fifth birthday. We had a party this afternoon at our house for the kids from the neighborhood plus a few of our good friends from nearby. It was a great party — games, ice cream cake, a pinata and more. Everybody had a great time and went away happy.

Then we went to Chuck E. Cheese’s for a party with three kids from Bernie’s class. And now I know where John Milton got his ideas.

When I was a kid, Chuck E. Cheese’s was a video arcade with skeeball and a ball crawl. Now it’s like a torture scene from A Clockwork Orange. As soon as you walk in, a teenaged employee jams some hooks onto your eyelids to prevent you from blocking out the horrible fact that every surface in the place is either glowing, flashing or both.

Every object in the restaurant makes some sort of noise, from the games to the screeching children hopped up on soda and some of the worst pizza I’ve ever eaten. In fact, I may need to pause while writing this post so I can run and be physically sick.

When we lived in Tokyo, I often felt overwhelmed walking through the larger train stations or across busy intersections. The crush of people is like nothing you experience in any city in the United States, and I found it hard to process. Well, I’d rather run through the main shopping district in Shibuya wearing 3-D binoculars and listening to GWAR then spend one more minute of my life in a Chuck E. Cheese’s franchise.

Just finding Bernie’s three friends was a challenge. There were so many hip-high children in the place that it was next to impossible to gather the gang together, and completely impossible to keep track of them afterward, even with four of the five parents (including Jen and me) working every moment of the two — or was it 12? — hours to find them.

One tiny positive innovation is that everyone in a family gets the same infrared number stamped on his or her left hand at the entrance, meaning no child can leave without an adult who has the same number. So we were reasonably certain that none of the kids would turn up missing. We were less assured that none of them would turn up blubbering and bleeding from the eyes, clutching a token and murmuring “Insert coin to continue … Insert coin to continue…”

I think it was Woody Allen who used to tell the joke about “the food was terrible, and the portions were too small.” Well, as much as Chuck’s House of Horrors stunk on the face of it, it was made even worse by the absence of good video games. When I was a kid, there was Tron, Pac Man, Galaga, Defender, Star Wars, Q-bert, Donkey Kong, Mr. Rogers vs Chuck Norris, and many others. All those cool games are gone, replaced by car races featuring characters from Sponge Bob and NASCAR. (Not in the same game, which was too bad.) There were a few first-person shooters, but nothing good. And then about 8 million different ways to sucker you into exchanging money for prize tickets.

By the end of the evening, I was sobbing softly at our table, holding my security cupcake and wading through wrapping paper and Spider-Man-themed gifts. (We sent Spider-Man invitation to the kids, who otherwise know nothing about Bernie, so we got exclusively Spider-Man-themed gifts. Pretty hip, actually.)

I’ve shot my wad here. Let me just echo the words of the shortest Rolling Stone review ever published (for the first album by the band Chase):

“Flee.”

WGA strike news

Jason Crane — Fri, 02 Nov 2007 23:49:48 +0000

Mark Evanier’s News From Me blog is a treasure for fans of classic movies and TV shows, comic books, old show biz memories, and good writing. Mark is a member of the WGA and he’s got some insightful and easily digestible thoughts about the WGA strike on his site. News From Me is a must-read for me and for several of my friends, and I encourage you to check it out.

Where the heck is Jason?

Jason Crane — Sun, 08 Jul 2007 03:35:09 +0000

For those few of you who are wondering why it’s been so long since I updated this site, I have an answer. I’m spending most of my time these days at two of my other sites:

So head to those and see what I’ve been up to!

Respect!

Jason Crane — Fri, 18 May 2007 03:51:19 +0000

BOA Editions Getting A New Home

Jason Crane — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 14:00:51 +0000

BOA Editions, one of the brightest spots in Rochester’s cultural life, is moving to new digs. This is from this morning’s Democrat & Chronicle newspaper:

BOA Editions moving to North Goodman Street

Local publishing company BOA Editions will be moving to the Neighborhood of the Arts.

It is moving from 260 East Ave. to the Anderson Alley building, 250 N. Goodman St. The new address will be effective April 30.

Poet and editor Peter Conners from BOA Editions was a guest on The Jason Crane Show last year. You can check out that episode for an interview with Peter and poetry from a number of great poets.

Bloggers For A Cure

Jason Crane — Wed, 18 Apr 2007 00:59:16 +0000

A group of music bloggers have come together to raise money for a good cause. You can win cool prizes and do a good deed all at the same time. To find out more, visit bloggersforacure.com or click the image below:

Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss!

Jason Crane — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 13:33:30 +0000

Several years ago, I celebrated Dr. Seuss’s birthday on my radio show by combining his talents with those of another singular American genius, pianist Thelonious Monk. Today is the good doctor’s birthday, so I bring you my version of his classic Green Eggs And Ham mashed up with Monk’s Blue Monk. Enjoy!

Listen: Green Eggs And Ham (mp3)

You decide: Which model works better?

Jason Crane — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 22:10:45 +0000

(Click the image for a larger version.)

Satirists Hall Of Fame

Jason Crane — Sun, 11 Feb 2007 15:49:27 +0000

Ape It Up!

Jason Crane — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 18:45:24 +0000

Shared Sacrifice

Jason Crane — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 23:16:52 +0000

More genius from Tom The Dancing Bug.

Li Wei Is Falling

Jason Crane — Mon, 22 Jan 2007 22:36:36 +0000

If you think that photo is cool, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. Check out photographer Li Wei’s Web site.

Your patriotic duty

Jason Crane — Sun, 21 Jan 2007 21:45:27 +0000

Pinball Number Count

Jason Crane — Sun, 14 Jan 2007 00:03:01 +0000

One of the favorite musical memories of my childhood is the Pinball Number Count from Sesame Street. I dare you to find a hipper 60 seconds of music on any kids show today.

Otto’s back

Jason Crane — Sun, 31 Dec 2006 01:23:31 +0000

My good friend Otto Bruno is back in two media: He’s (finally!) got a new entry on his blog, From Where I Sit, and he’s also on the radio tomorrow (New Year’s Eve) with his wonderful show the Sunday Music Festa. Tomorrow’s show features an interview with vocal legend Julius La Rosa. Don’t miss it. Tune in to Jazz90.1 in the Rochester area, or visit jazz901.org to listen live via the Internet.

Our high-tech world

Jason Crane — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 21:52:56 +0000

I use my iPod in the kitchen, plugged into a set of speakers. I left the USB cable for the iPod on the kitchen counter on Christmas Eve, and it ended up resting in a small pool of water on the counter. The next day, the cable was all gummed up and it didn’t work anymore. I went to our local Apple Store today to replace the cable, and was amazed at how fluid and easy the entire experience was. A guy met me at the door. I told him what I wanted. He got me one off the shelf and asked if I was paying with a credit card. I said I was, and he whipped out a little scanner device maybe 50% larger than a Palm Pilot. He scanned the cable and swiped my credit card using this device. “Do you want us to send you a receipt via e-mail?” he asked. He already had my e-mail address on file. I said, “Sure, thanks,” and split. No lines, no counters, just quick and efficient service. Wacky!

Viva Las … oh, never mind

Jason Crane — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 03:22:01 +0000

It’s not that I hate Las Vegas, it’s more that … um … OK, it’s that I hate Las Vegas.

I’m writing this from the Sahara Hotel and Casino in Vegas, where I’ve come for a meeting of hotel union folks. Las Vegas is one of the power bases of my union, UNITE HERE, given that we represent hotel and gaming workers. Nearly every casino on The Strip is union, and this city is home to more than 50,000 of our members. Hotel and gaming jobs here are becoming middle-class jobs as a result.

For me, though, Vegas is everything I dislike about American culture — lit up. Commercialism, overindulgence, self-centeredness, neon. It’s all here in quantities that could make even the most calm and collected person lose their marbles. And as you’ve learned by now, I’m not the most calm and collected person.

I think I would have liked Vegas 50 years ago, when the Sahara was built. Back when the entertainers had last names like Sinatra, Martin, and Davis. Back when Count Basie backed Nat Cole and swing was the popular music of the day. These days, though, most of that history is buried under an enormous pyramid, a fake Eiffel Tower, and a make-believe New York City.

The popular wisdom about this town is that everything’s cheap because they want you to gamble. That may have been the case back in the day, but now Vegas is a tourist destination for the whole family, and even the most obscure magician or comedian charges $50 a ticket.

At least I’m staying in one of the last surviving hotels from the golden era of Vegas. The Sahara was built in 1952, and it looks it. It’s far down on The Strip — actually off the main part of The Strip, as far as I can tell. The only other hotels and casinos near here are the Las Vegas Hilton and the Stratosphere. Except for the color TV and the wireless Internet access, it’s easy to believe that this room was occupied by John and Mary from Wisconsin on their first big trip back in the late 50s.

To summarize: It’s fantastic that so many workers are able to build a life here with a good wage and decent healthcare. That’s a good thing, and I hope for their sake that this place keeps going strong. But for my sake, I hope the next one of these meetings is somewhere else.

For information on UNITE HERE Local 226 in Las Vegas, visit their Web site. For more about the Sahara, check out this interactive timeline.

The Hagyard Building, circa 1920

Jason Crane — Wed, 11 Oct 2006 05:37:30 +0000

The picture at the top of this site is a section of the Hagyard Building on Main Street in Lenox, Massachussetts. It’s the building in which my grandparents and great-uncle lived, and it’s the first place I lived, too. This building looms so large in my life that I chose it as the symbol of this site. I took that picture in 2003 or 2004. Well, tonight I found another photo of it, this time from some time between 1910 and 1920:

I found this photo here, at the Library of Congress’s American Memory collection. The collection is chock-full of amazing artifacts, so go take a look.

Nietzsche Family Circus…

Jason Crane — Tue, 10 Oct 2006 03:35:24 +0000

…pairs a random Family Circus cartoon with a random quote from Friederich Nietzsche. Enjoy!

You’re welcome.

And thanks to Norm at One Good Move for the tip.

Giving credit where it’s due

Jason Crane — Tue, 10 Oct 2006 03:20:14 +0000

Back in April, I posted this item alerting readers to shows by Tierney Sutton and Claudia Acuna. To illustrate the article, I used two photos, including this one:

It turns out this photo was taken by Seattle’s Bruce C. Moore, a fact I learned when he mentioned it on his blog, Hey, I took that!. Bruce’s blog is dedicated to finding his photos in use by people who haven’t asked his permission, paid him or credited him, and he really made me reflect on that practice. In this digital age, it’s easy to find a photo of almost anyone you choose to write about. The ease, however, has lowered the bar for attribution. The photo of Tierney Sutton is taken from her own Web site, where it is also uncredited.

My apologies, Bruce. Consider me on notice. I’ll work hard from now on to provide proper credit for the photos I use, and to seek permission where feasible. I can’t promise complete compliance, but I’ll do my absolute best. As I said to Bruce on his blog, I encourage Bruce and other photographers to contact bloggers and Web administrators directly and let them know about their use of uncredited photos. People deserve to be recognized for the work they do.

Iron Man (no, not that one)

Jason Crane — Sun, 08 Oct 2006 04:09:25 +0000

My good friend Stephanie Lovato sends this from down south:

For those of you who have the OLN network (actually, formerly OLN…it is now “Versus” network or something), Ironman Arizona is being televised tomorrow (Sunday, October 8th) at 3pm ET. It will be aired again on Monday at 4pm, and Wednesday at 5pm (all eastern times). I thought this might be of interest because my brother was the winner there this year (so I am quite proud), and usually they do a pretty good job of making the coverage interesting and fairly quick (a 9 hour race in less than an hour!) Anyway, I know it interferes with football tomorrow, but if you feel like flipping channels to check it out… do it!

Stephanie is very hip and so is her brother, seen below winning the race. So tune in!

A public service from JasonCrane.org

Jason Crane — Fri, 29 Sep 2006 05:04:35 +0000

You’re welcome:

Thanks to Mark Evanier for the tip.

Jerks (New Jersey, Part 2)

Jason Crane — Sun, 24 Sep 2006 00:20:10 +0000

I was eating dinner in the hotel restaurant tonight, and a couple of event managers sat down near me. I’m not sure which event they were managing, although it wasn’t taking place at the hotel. They were the kind of folks who talk like they’re at the center of the universe, and like the rest of that universe is a series of concentric circles based on money and power.

At one point, the waiter came and took their drink order. The woman’s response: “I’ll have a margarita, and I hope it’s better than the one I had last night.”

What kind of a jerk do you have to be to say that to a hardworking person whom you don’t even know?

The conversion

Jason Crane — Fri, 22 Sep 2006 04:24:53 +0000

Maybe you should sit down for this one.

On Wednesday night, I was elected as leader of the Democratic Committee for the 24th Legislative District here in Monroe County, NY. Why should that be a shock? Because I was previously chair of the Green Party in this same county, a party that exists not only in support of progressive causes, but in opposition to what is often called the two-party duopoly of American politics. So the question is: Have I sold out?

To some, the answer will be an unequivocal “yes!” I ran for City Council and got more votes than any independent candidate has received. I did this on the Green line in a district that’s home to the president of City Council and one of the most respected Dems in the county. I got creamed, but I received more than 30% of the vote in the LD where I now serve as leader.

But here’s the deal: It’s not realistically possible to win in Rochester as a Green. And at the state and national level, it’s the Democrats who can most easily stand as the progressive party. They don’t often do that now, but they have a ready-made structure for creating change. If I’m going to spend some amount of the time taking part in politics — time that could otherwise be spent at home or anywhere else — then I want the fastest route to effective action. That is the Democratic Party. I decided a few years ago to set aside my dreams of ideological purity and focus on making people’s lives better. That’s why I do the job I do. Unions may not be perfect, but they’re a lot better than letting the market decide whether folks should have a living wage, health care and a pension. Similarly, the Dems aren’t perfect, but it’s a lot easier to create change through that structure than to first have to build an entire party from the ground up, and then start solving problems.

So here I am, on the left end of the Democratic Party, trying to remind folks that what’s considered “left” in our media discourse is actually at the center of the American electorate. Who doesn’t believe in health care for all, good educations for our kids, jobs that create middle class families, and dignity in retirement, to name just a few ideas? These are basic American values, and I’m going to do my part locally to make sure that these are the values championed by this party.

It’s never easy to make choices like this one, but I’m confident that working to move the Democrats forward is the surest path to the change I want to create.

Happy Anniversary!

Jason Crane — Fri, 22 Sep 2006 04:12:59 +0000

My good friends Jeff and Leeann Vrabel are celebrating their fifth wedding anniversary today. Here’s the tune I wrote for their wedding, which was in beautiful Cooperstown, NY:

Cooperstown Vow (mp3)

Do not trust a Yodah puppet from Satan’s dream factory!

Jason Crane — Thu, 21 Sep 2006 02:21:03 +0000

So says Jeff Vrabel in this article.

Pure genius.

Jason Crane — Sun, 17 Sep 2006 00:08:35 +0000

Enjoy more brilliance from Tom The Dancing Bug.

Happy Birthday to…

Jason Crane — Sun, 10 Sep 2006 18:14:44 +0000

…me! That’s right, folks — 33 years young today. Who woulda thunk?

Would you like to get me a gift? Make a donation to one of these fine organizations:

Thanks!

Hilary vs. Tasini

Jason Crane — Sat, 09 Sep 2006 03:10:57 +0000

I’m a Jonathan Tasini supporter. I thought you might enjoy this from Ward Sutton:

Worst. Mixtape. Ever.

Jason Crane — Thu, 07 Sep 2006 02:03:19 +0000

Comedian Aziz Ansari had a contest to see who who in his apartment could create the worst mixtape of all time. Check out the results:

Thanks to Jeff Vrabel for the link. I think.

And here’s a bonus video from the same comedians:

That sinking feeling? It’s the median income!

Jason Crane — Wed, 06 Sep 2006 02:32:30 +0000

Here’s a graph from The Detroit Free Press showing how median incomes have fallen over the past six years of Bushmania.

Support New Orleans and look cool doing it

Jason Crane — Wed, 06 Sep 2006 00:54:56 +0000

I came across a link to Dirty Coast shirts while surfing over on One Good Move. It’s a local New Orleans company with cool shirts and good ethic. Check them out, and tell them Jason Crane sent you.

Latin Proverb of the Day

Jason Crane — Wed, 30 Aug 2006 05:35:17 +0000

If you like Latin, history, or interesting daily reading, you might want to check out Bob Patrick’s Latin Proverb of the Day. You can do that in two ways:

Via Bob’s Web site
By subscribing to the RSS feed

Enjoy!

How to give back to those fine Americans at Focus On The Family

Jason Crane — Sat, 26 Aug 2006 02:55:26 +0000

I suggest this method.

Thanks to the Amherst desk for the tip.

Avoiding le spam

Jason Crane — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 01:48:46 +0000

The last time I tried to set up the post-by-e-mail feature on this
site, I started sending out spam by the zillions. Or rather, some
hacker started sending about spam by the zillions using my account.
I’m still not sure whether that was tied to this feature or not, so
I’m trying it one more time.

The fight against ignorance

Jason Crane — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 14:22:52 +0000

Physics professor Lawrence Krauss has good things to say in this New York Times essay about creationist developments in Kansas. (You may need to register to read this article.)

Episode #5 of The Jason Crane Show is ready!

Jason Crane — Tue, 15 Aug 2006 00:02:41 +0000

This week’s show features a never-before-heard interview with trumpet legend Hugh Masekela. Check it out at thejasoncraneshow.com.

Lenny Bruce, American genius

Jason Crane — Thu, 03 Aug 2006 23:52:32 +0000

Comedian Lenny Bruce died 40 years ago today of a drug overdose. He was a true comedic genius and social satirist. If you’re looking for a good overview of his work, and you don’t mind parting with a few bucks, allow me to recommend:

One of my other projects is featured in the news

Jason Crane — Sun, 30 Jul 2006 14:39:45 +0000

In addition to this site and The Jason Crane Show, I also run a site (with my friend Pat Domaratz) called SignWall.com. SignWall.com is dedicated to preserving local history through photographs of wall signs, painted advertisements, and engravings on buildings.

Today, SignWall.com was featured in Rochester’s daily newspaper, The Democrat & Chronicle.

Net neutrality (Daily Show style)

Jason Crane — Sat, 29 Jul 2006 03:50:42 +0000

The Daily Show exposes the idiocy of Senator Ted Stevens, particularly his ignorance about the Internet … which he is in charge of regulating:

And then John Hodgeman skewers him again:

Finally, once you’ve watched those, there’s this.

The first Bush

Jason Crane — Thu, 27 Jul 2006 01:39:41 +0000

My good friend Kevin Baird is a composer, computer code writer, geek, and all-around hip guy. About a decade ago, he used a speech by George H.W. Bush on the eve of the Gulf War to create a wonderful audio piece called “Just Two Hours Ago.” I came across the audio of the original speech recently, and I asked Kevin if I could post his version on the site. He agreed, so here you go:

An excerpt of the original speech (:29)
“Just Two Hours Ago” by Kevin Baird (2:12)

Colbert on solidarity

Jason Crane — Sat, 22 Jul 2006 02:43:04 +0000

Thanks to Joan Collins-Lambert for the tip!

People’s Republic of Food

Jason Crane — Thu, 20 Jul 2006 05:06:41 +0000

In 2000, I worked for Nikkei News Bulletin in Manhattan as a copy editor. It mostly sucked, but I rediscovered one bright spot while looking through my hard drive tonight. Here are two ads I wrote for a product line I was envisioning called People’s Republic of Food:

V.I. Lenin’s Russian Dressing
First TV Ad

SCENE: Camera enters room through doorway. In room we see a John Lennon look-alike with his back to the camera. He is seated, playing a grand piano. Lennon’s song “Imagine” plays on the soundtrack. Camera slowly closes in on man.

VOICE-OVER: Years ago, a great man told us to imagine a different world.

Song continues. Camera continues to move toward pianist.

VOICE-OVER: A world of choices. … A world of freedom.

Song continues, as does camera’s slow forward movement.

VOICE-OVER: He was a great man, and his name was Lennon.

Camera speeds up, shoots over man’s shoulder to show jar of V.I. Lenin’s Russian Dressing sitting next to a salad or sandwich. Sound of needle scratching on turntable, song stops as voice says…

VOICE: No, not that Lennon, V.I. Lenin.

Pianist’s hands open bottle of dressing, which he pours on salad/sandwich.

VOICE: V.I. Lenin’s Russian Dressing. From the People’s Republic of Food. Join The Taste Revolution.

Chairman Mayo
First TV Ad

THE SCENE: A group of people marching along a nondescript road on an overcast day. Gloomy martial music plays in the background.

VOICE-OVER: For years, people all over the world have been caught in the steel grip of two industry titans. They eat the same things every day in a world without choice.

Close-up of people in the crowd eating sandwiches with looks of distaste.

VOICE-OVER: But a revolution is beginning. A revolution in taste, and in the way people make something that none of us can live without…

Music swells slowly as camera pans in on face of man and woman in front of crowd. A shaft of light hits their faces and brightens as they look up. Camera pans to horizon, where sun is rising.

VOICE-OVER: Something you never think about, but that millions of people use every day…

Sun rises fully in the sky. Jar of mayonnaise appears in center. Music becomes triumphant.

VOICE-OVER: Mayonnaise.

Chairman Mao’s face appears on label. Cut back to shot of man and woman as smiles break over their sun-bathed faces. Then back to jar.

VOICE-OVER: Chairman Mayo. The new spread from The People’s Republic of Food. Join the taste revolution.

Jacques Chirac, head-butter

Jason Crane — Wed, 12 Jul 2006 17:37:04 +0000

What a difference a good copy editor makes. This New York Times story on the Zinedine Zidane head-butt incident contains a photo with the following caption:

As Italy celebrated, France wondered why Zinédine Zidane, with President Jacques Chirac, head-butted an opponent.

Unless the secret agents of a shady global conspiracy edited out the footage of Chirac joining Zidane in his whacking of Materazzi, I think that caption may need a little tinkering.

World Jump Day

Jason Crane — Tue, 04 Jul 2006 23:50:22 +0000

I found a link to World Jump Day on my friend Josh Rutner’s site. The idea? To have everyone in certain parts of the world jump at the same time, thus altering Earth’s orbit and stopping global warming. It’ll also make the weather nicer.

Looks like Van Halen were right.

A lovely wedding … or so I was told

Jason Crane — Thu, 22 Jun 2006 04:19:52 +0000

This past Sunday, my longest-suffering friend got married to his partner of 13 years. And they did it for that most American of reasons — health insurance.

Being the wonderful friend that I am, I agreed to do two things at the wedding: provide the music and host (and write) a trivia quiz for the guests.

The wedding was at 2 p.m. in Buffalo, an hour and change from our house in Rochester. We packed the kids and all the music gear into the car and headed to Ellicott Creek Park, arriving at about 1:40.

As we drove up to the building where the wedding would be held, Jen noticed the brother of the bride walking up the sidewalk. She also noticed people eating inside the building. We’d been told by the bride and groom that the ceremony would be short (under 3 minutes) and very informal, so we weren’t too suspicious. As the bride’s brother approached, Jen asked about the ceremony, and when it would take place.

“It was at noon,” he replied.

That’s right. The wedding of my friend of 19 years was at noon, and I arrived at 1:40. Within minutes of our arrival, 90% of the guests went home, leaving about 15 people. I couldn’t believe it.

Shall we say I was embarrassed? Yes, let’s say that. As it turned out, though, our late arrival was probably the best thing that could have happened. When the majority of the guests left, those who remained were all pretty good friends, several of whom also had small kids. Everybody had a fun time hanging out and chatting. The kids played. About 10 people did the trivia quiz. And a wonderful time was had by all. Congrats to Jenn and Kevin!

Wisdom from Walden

Jason Crane — Wed, 07 Jun 2006 18:49:01 +0000

“As for the Pyramids, there is nothing to wonder at in them so much as the fact that so many men could be found degraded enough to spend their lives constructing a tomb for some ambitious booby, whom it would have been wiser and manlier to have drowned in the Nile, and then given his body to the dogs.” – from Walden by Henry David Thoreau

More about my TV appearance

Jason Crane — Wed, 17 May 2006 13:36:10 +0000

Yesterday at the WHEC studios, I came face to face — literally — with my new status as the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. They say the camera adds 10 pounds, but I wasn’t prepared for the full reality.

My interview took place on a small set on the side of the main soundstage — two chairs, a fake bookshelf and plant. The disconcerting part of it was that when you looked at the camera, you were also looking at a monitor under it. Holy canoli, Batman. I’m huge!

When Jen and I got married, I weighed about 155 or 160. That was 10 years ago. I now weigh about 195 or so. That’s right, dear reader, 40 pounds in 10 years. Add a few ounces from the TV, and it looked like the anchor was interviewing Dom DeLuise.

The real horror was yet to come, though. When I got home, I watched the show on tape. May I just say that it was the most terrifying experience of the week?

But as the old saw goes, when life gives you lemons, make hay while the bird is in the hand. I had a vague plan to diet and excercise, but yesterday’s TV gig has scared the bejeezus out of me. It’s time to get serious about taking off several million pounds. I’ll keep you posted.

Musings on Douglas Adams and the Palm Pilot

Jason Crane — Thu, 04 May 2006 04:17:37 +0000

I’ve been reading Douglas Adams’s book The Salmon Of Doubt (Amazon.com), in which he’s pretty effusive about his passion for technology. That’s got me jazzed about tecnology, too, so I’m writing this entry on my Palm. My only problem with this little gadget is that its Wi-Fi is shot, which renders it a lot less cool than it was. Getting it fixed sounds like the obvius solution — but that means being without my calendar and contacts for however long the repair takes. In a job like mine, that’s like being without my brain. Maybe a better way to say that is that with a brain like mine, losing this little zappy is like giving myself a lobotomy.

I really love Douglas Adams. When I was in high school — or maybe junior high — in the 80′s, I discovered the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy books. Around that same time, my friend Steve Davis leant me a cassette tape of the HHGTTG radio series. In fact, this series of tapes has now become like the Holy Grail. The history of HHGTTG in all its forms is hard to trace — from radio to books to LPs to TV to CDs to a movie to radio again. Or something like that. Anyway, somewhere in there they re-recorded the radio series. I think they did that to switch some bits so’d they’d be more like the book. I’m still not sure whether they redid the whole serires or just parts of it, but I think that first version I heard on cassette as a teenager is still the funniest version. I guess there’s nothing for it but to check on eBay. Maybe that’s an appropriately futuristic way to find something by Douglas Adams.

Amtrak – still around, still worth it

Jason Crane — Sat, 29 Apr 2006 18:03:17 +0000

I’m writing this post from my cousin Lynne’s house in Albany, NY. Jen and the boys and I came here yesterday on the Maple Leaf — an Amtrak train that runs from Toronto to NYC. Round-trip tickets for all four of us (John was free), cost about $130. And let me tell you, it was worth every penny.

The trip from Rochester to Albany took about 4 1/2 hours, just a bit longer than it takes in a car if you don’t stop. The big difference, though, was in the whole vibe of the trip. It was really family friendly — a roomy train with lots of space that allowed all of us to move around, cuddle, and talk to one another. If you’re traveling with a baby, you can’t beat it. John fell asleep at about 1 p.m. (an hour before we got on the train), and didn’t wake up until my cousin picked us up at the Albany station. Not bad at all.

Bernie was so excited he could hardly stand it. He loves his cousins Jack and Grace, so the whole concept of the trip was thrilling. Add the train on top of that, and you’ve got one very happy boy!

Train travel in the U.S. is certainly way behind train travel in Japan, unless you live in the NYC-Boston corridor. But it’s out there, and worth a little investigation if you’re thinking of taking a trip. Leave the driving to someone else, and stretch out with a book as you glide down the tracks. It’s a heck of a way to travel.

The Grim Meathook Future

Jason Crane — Sun, 26 Mar 2006 16:01:01 +0000

This short essay is worth a look, if you’re interested in how the future of humankind might play out. Or even if you’re not.

When you’re finished with that, head over to SignWall.com and see the newest additions to this rapidly growing online museum of vanishing urban history.

The Valentine’s Day scam

Jason Crane — Wed, 15 Feb 2006 03:22:33 +0000

My son Bernie is 3 years old. Two days a week, he goes to a preschool class at the Monroe Avenue YMCA. Today, his class had a Valentine’s Day party, for which Bernie was required to bring in a Valentine card for every kid in the class. So last night, Dear Old Dad is out in the car after the proverbial hard day’s work, looking in vain for the last two packs of Valentine’s cards that aren’t shilling some brain-melting TV show or toy. I finally found just enough cards, although I had to trip an elderly woman to stop her from grabbing them first.

To add insult to injury, it was then up to Dear Old Dad to go home, get out the list of Bernie’s classmates, and sign all the cards and envelopes on his behalf. All while he’s sound asleep, I might add.

Can anyone explain to me what the point of that is?? We’ve already been scammed into a holiday created by the greeting card companies and probably subsidized by government largesse sucked from our pockets by the powerful Heart-Shaped-Box Lobby. Now I have to fill out greeting cards for kids who can’t read, so they can be the imaginary love interests of other kids who can’t read?

Norm!

Jason Crane — Sun, 12 Feb 2006 00:18:03 +0000

The other day, a friend said this to me: “I’ve always run away from putting down roots, I think partly because I’m so desperate to have some.”

Exactly. I’ve moved more than 20 times so far, and I’ve always felt cut off from any particular “hometown,” except for Lenox, Massachusetts, where I lived until I was five. I still feel like I’m home whenever I’m there, even though most of my life has been lived elsewhere. The first person I dated had lived in the same house her entire life (about 15 years at that point). My sister lived in the same house from the age of 5 until she was 24. My parents have lived in the same house for the past 20 years.

All of that seems very odd to me. Or maybe it’s better to say that I can’t really relate to it. I’ve always prided myself on my ability to adapt to new surroundings. I find that I get the itch to move after I’ve lived somewhere for about a year.

I’ve now lived in Rochester for five and a half years. It’s almost impossible for me to leave the house without running into people I know. Every restaurant, every store, every concert, every bike ride. A few of those folks even like me, and more than 1,500 of them voted for me for city council. That’s just weird.

I started thinking of this today when I was at Palermo’s Meat & Food Market on Culver and Norton. Guy, the owner of the store, knows my family and me by name, as do several of the employees. While Bernie and I were in there today, we ran into my good friend Otto (don’t forget to check out his new site) and his son Frankie. A few minutes later, Otto’s brother came in. Everybody was chatting, laughing, telling jokes, ordering food from the deli counter, and just generally behaving in the way I always imagined adult life would be.

So what does that all mean? Does it need to mean anything? For one thing, it means that I have roots here in Rochester. I never expected that to happen. It also means that it’s still possible — if I make the effort — to live life meaningfully in a circle of people who care about me. That’s a great feeling. When we had our near-baby-event yesterday, we had friends and family close at hand who were willing to drop everything to help out.

I didn’t expect our life here to be like this, and I’m still trying to figure it all out. In the meantime, it’s cool to have friends.

We almost had a baby tonight

Jason Crane — Sat, 11 Feb 2006 01:55:16 +0000

As Mark Twain didn’t actually say: “History doesn’t repeat itself, but it rhymes.” What began as a routine check-up at the midwife’s office turned into a 6-hour saga complete with hospital visit, much like our 2002 experience with Bernie.

Bernie was born three weeks early because Jen had to be induced due to complications from preeclampsia — a pregnancy-only disorder that results in dangerously high blood pressure.

This time around, Jen’s blood pressure had been normal for the first eight months of her pregnancy. Recently, though, her blood pressure has begun to creep up, and today it really spiked. Our midwife called a doctor, who sent us to Highland Hospital. The doctor said that a reading as high as Jen’s was almost a guarantee that they’d induce labor — tonight.

I scrambled to get someone to watch Bernie — first our friends Pamela and Dan, who took him for a couple hours, then my sister Gretchen, who took over from there. I had met Jen at the midwife’s office, so we were driving two cars. Jen and Bernie headed over to Pamela and Dan’s, and I followed close behind. About a half-mile from their house, I was stopped at a red light … and I got rear-ended by a minivan! It was unreal. Luckily, the guy didn’t do enough damage to my car to make it impossible to drive, so we exchanged information and he left. I called the insurance company to file a quick claim, and then met Jen at home so we could head to the hospital.

Off we went to Highland Hospital, where we waited for about three hours while Jen had blood work done and had her blood pressure routinely checked. Her blood pressure was high, though not as high as the initial reading by the midwife. When her blood work finally came back, it was perfect, and the doctor diagnosed gestational hypertension — high blood pressure caused by pregnancy, but not as serious as preeclampsia. We have to keep monitoring it, and Jen has to reduce her workload (read: Bernie) around the house.

The weird part of it all is that I was psychologically prepared to have the baby tonight. The initial opinion of two different doctors was that we’d be giving birth to Crane Baby #2 before we left the hospital. At first, that was a shock. We quickly calmed down, though, and prepared ourselves for the process. Then, three hours later, we were sitting at the kitchen table as if nothing had happened.

That’s all for the best, of course. It’s better for mother and baby to get closer to the due date (March 17), and it’s still our plan to do a home birth with our midwife if that’s possible. One nice element of the hospital stay was that Jen was hooked up to a baby monitor for about 90 minutes, and the baby’s heartbeat was rock solid at 140 beats per minute, or as I like to call it, Techno Tempo.

So now we’re home. Jen is fine, the baby is fine, and we’re proceeding toward our expected delivery date. I’ll keep you posted.

The birth of a new blog!

Jason Crane — Fri, 10 Feb 2006 05:45:26 +0000

My good friend Otto Bruno has just launched his new site, ottobruno.com. The site is the home of Otto’s blog, From Where I Sit, as well as a place to find his magazine articles. Otto is the host of The Sunday Music Festa and The Otto Show on Jazz90.1, and he also writes a monthly show biz column for the national Italian-American newspaper Fra Noi. Check out Otto’s site, and tell him Jason sent ya!

Nursery rhymes from my Great-Uncle Jack

Jason Crane — Sun, 05 Feb 2006 15:42:43 +0000

My grandmother’s brother, Jack Coughlin (1912-2000), was quite the character. He served in the Marines during WWII as a cook in Hawaii. When he came home, he and his first wife, Evelyn, lived in the apartment above my grandparents on Main Street in Lenox, Massachusetts. He worked at the post office, and he knew everyone in town. Before police scanners were readily available, he’d wake the entire family at the sound of the fire bell and race off to watch the firemen at work. Later in life, he bought a police scanner and listened to it constantly.

He was the first vegetarian I ever heard of. If memory serves, he became a vegetarian after a visit to a chicken farm.

He also had quite a sense of humor. What I remember best are his twisted takes on classic nursery rhymes. Here are a few for your enjoyment:

Hickory dickory dock,
Two mice ran up the clock,
The clock struck one,
And the other escaped with minor injuries.

Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockle shells,
And one stinkin’ petunia.

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider and sat down beside her,
And said, “Is this seat taken?”