Net neutrality (Daily Show style)

Posted 28 July, 2006 in Random Musings, TV

The Daily Show exposes the idiocy of Senator Ted Stevens, particularly his ignorance about the Internet … which he is in charge of regulating:

And then John Hodgeman skewers him again:

Finally, once you’ve watched those, there’s this.

People’s Republic of Food

Posted 20 July, 2006 in Random Musings, TV

In 2000, I worked for Nikkei News Bulletin in Manhattan as a copy editor. It mostly sucked, but I rediscovered one bright spot while looking through my hard drive tonight. Here are two ads I wrote for a product line I was envisioning called People’s Republic of Food:

V.I. Lenin’s Russian Dressing
First TV Ad

SCENE: Camera enters room through doorway. In room we see a John Lennon look-alike with his back to the camera. He is seated, playing a grand piano. Lennon’s song “Imagine” plays on the soundtrack. Camera slowly closes in on man.

VOICE-OVER: Years ago, a great man told us to imagine a different world.

Song continues. Camera continues to move toward pianist.

VOICE-OVER: A world of choices. … A world of freedom.

Song continues, as does camera’s slow forward movement.

VOICE-OVER: He was a great man, and his name was Lennon.

Camera speeds up, shoots over man’s shoulder to show jar of V.I. Lenin’s Russian Dressing sitting next to a salad or sandwich. Sound of needle scratching on turntable, song stops as voice says…

VOICE: No, not that Lennon, V.I. Lenin.

Pianist’s hands open bottle of dressing, which he pours on salad/sandwich.

VOICE: V.I. Lenin’s Russian Dressing. From the People’s Republic of Food. Join The Taste Revolution.

Chairman Mayo
First TV Ad

THE SCENE: A group of people marching along a nondescript road on an overcast day. Gloomy martial music plays in the background.

VOICE-OVER: For years, people all over the world have been caught in the steel grip of two industry titans. They eat the same things every day in a world without choice.

Close-up of people in the crowd eating sandwiches with looks of distaste.

VOICE-OVER: But a revolution is beginning. A revolution in taste, and in the way people make something that none of us can live without…

Music swells slowly as camera pans in on face of man and woman in front of crowd. A shaft of light hits their faces and brightens as they look up. Camera pans to horizon, where sun is rising.

VOICE-OVER: Something you never think about, but that millions of people use every day…

Sun rises fully in the sky. Jar of mayonnaise appears in center. Music becomes triumphant.

VOICE-OVER: Mayonnaise.

Chairman Mao’s face appears on label. Cut back to shot of man and woman as smiles break over their sun-bathed faces. Then back to jar.

VOICE-OVER: Chairman Mayo. The new spread from The People’s Republic of Food. Join the taste revolution.

More about my TV appearance

Posted 17 May, 2006 in Random Musings, TV

Yesterday at the WHEC studios, I came face to face — literally — with my new status as the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. They say the camera adds 10 pounds, but I wasn’t prepared for the full reality.

My interview took place on a small set on the side of the main soundstage — two chairs, a fake bookshelf and plant. The disconcerting part of it was that when you looked at the camera, you were also looking at a monitor under it. Holy canoli, Batman. I’m huge!

When Jen and I got married, I weighed about 155 or 160. That was 10 years ago. I now weigh about 195 or so. That’s right, dear reader, 40 pounds in 10 years. Add a few ounces from the TV, and it looked like the anchor was interviewing Dom DeLuise.

The real horror was yet to come, though. When I got home, I watched the show on tape. May I just say that it was the most terrifying experience of the week?

But as the old saw goes, when life gives you lemons, make hay while the bird is in the hand. I had a vague plan to diet and excercise, but yesterday’s TV gig has scared the bejeezus out of me. It’s time to get serious about taking off several million pounds. I’ll keep you posted.

Walt Whitman and I on the news

Posted 16 May, 2006 in Literature, Radio, Rochester, TV

If you have a time machine, you can watch me earlier today on News10 NBC here in Rochester, talking about the Whitman event.

If you have a radio or computer, you can hear me tomorrow (Wednesday) at 3:30 p.m. on Jack Mindy’s show on Jazz90.1. The station is at 90.1 FM, or on the Internet.

Cavett and the comedians

Posted 25 February, 2006 in TV

My good friend Otto Bruno has a review of the new DVD set The Dick Cavett Show: Comic Legends over at his site, ottobruno.com.

New collections on the way from Harry Shearer

Posted 5 February, 2006 in Radio, TV

Let me say right off the bat that I’m a huge fan of Harry Shearer. I think his radio program Le Show is one of the funniest things going. But don’t take my word for it. Check out Harry’s Web site for yourself. You’ll find audio archives there, along with a lot more Shearer magic.

In March, Harry is putting out a new DVD and a new CD. A friend in the biz sent me this press release:

HARRY SHEARER UNLOCKS PERSONAL VAULTS FOR THE FIRST TIME FOR NEW DVD “NOW IT CAN BE SEEN” AND CD “DROPPING ANCHORS” TO BE SIMULTANEOUSLY RELEASED MARCH 21, 2006

DVD and CD Include Shearer’s Hilarious Sketches On Saturday Night Live As Well As HBO Comedy Specials, Unreleased Material and More

Los Angeles, CA – January 2006 – Actor/writer/director Harry Shearer for the first time has opened his personal vaults for a special DVD of his television comedy. The DVD, Now It Can Be Seen includes Shearer’s most memorable performances that have not been viewed since their first broadcast, as well as never before released material. In addition, Shearer will release a comedy CD, Dropping Anchors. These two unique collections will be released separately March 21, 2006 through Courgette Records, a company formed by Shearer, his wife, singer/songwriter Judith Owen, and her manager Bambi Moé. The DVD and CD will be distributed through Warner Music Group’s ADA.

The DVD Now It Can Be Seen features some of Shearer’s best work including his first Cinemax-HBO special, It’s Just TV, his live HBO special, The Magic of Live, and hilarious sketches from his years with Saturday Night Live (1979-80 and 1984-85), including the infamous men’s synchronized swimming also featuring Christopher Guest and Martin Short.

Released the same day will be the 7 track CD, Dropping Anchors, a comedy album that is a satirical farewell to the television news anchors whose era has just ended. This features the humorous exits of Dan Rather, Tom Brokaw, Ted Koppel and Aaron Brown. There is also a hilarious bit of Shearer as Barbara Walters singing “82 Facelifts.” In addition, the CD features Shearer as Brokaw singing “Songs in the Key of L,” in which he performs snippets of such titles as “Lay Lady Lay” and “Ukelele Lady.”

Shearer can currently be heard in the Disney animated blockbuster “Chicken Little” and will soon be seen in the new Christopher Guest film “For Your Consideration.” The film is slated for a fall 2006 release.

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