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How To Cut Your Hair — The Jason Crane Way!

OBJECTIVE: Save money by trimming your own hair. It’s easy!

STEP 1. Start with a full head of hair, like this:

STEP 2. Using beard clippers that are clearly too small to cut the hair on your head, begin cutting the hair on your head:

STEP 3. Realize to your horror that the clippers are, in fact, too small. Hurry to the local pharmacy for a larger set of clippers (cost: $35). At the suggestion of someone on the Internet, cut your hair into a temporary mohawk:

STEP 4. Attempt to fix your mistake by cutting all your hair very, very short:

STEP 5. Realize that your initial hackjob is irreparable. Remove all of your hair with a razor:

That’s it! For double the price of a trip to the local barber, you now have no hair at all! Congratulations!

Published in Random Musings


  1. Reading this after midnight was a bad idea because this made me laugh. And once I start laughing after midnight I can never stop. Now I’m trying to laugh as silently as possible so as to not wake anyone. I’m crying from all the laughing. And I’m never going to be able to contain myself.

    • Jason Crane Jason Crane

      Oops! Sorry. 🙂

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