In 2000, I worked for Nikkei News Bulletin in Manhattan as a copy editor. It mostly sucked, but I rediscovered one bright spot while looking through my hard drive tonight. Here are two ads I wrote for a product line I was envisioning called People’s Republic of Food:
V.I. Lenin’s Russian Dressing
First TV Ad
SCENE: Camera enters room through doorway. In room we see a John Lennon look-alike with his back to the camera. He is seated, playing a grand piano. Lennon’s song “Imagine†plays on the soundtrack. Camera slowly closes in on man.
VOICE-OVER: Years ago, a great man told us to imagine a different world.
Song continues. Camera continues to move toward pianist.
VOICE-OVER: A world of choices. … A world of freedom.
Song continues, as does camera’s slow forward movement.
VOICE-OVER: He was a great man, and his name was Lennon.
Camera speeds up, shoots over man’s shoulder to show jar of V.I. Lenin’s Russian Dressing sitting next to a salad or sandwich. Sound of needle scratching on turntable, song stops as voice says…
VOICE: No, not that Lennon, V.I. Lenin.
Pianist’s hands open bottle of dressing, which he pours on salad/sandwich.
VOICE: V.I. Lenin’s Russian Dressing. From the People’s Republic of Food. Join The Taste Revolution.
Chairman Mayo
First TV Ad
THE SCENE: A group of people marching along a nondescript road on an overcast day. Gloomy martial music plays in the background.
VOICE-OVER: For years, people all over the world have been caught in the steel grip of two industry titans. They eat the same things every day in a world without choice.
Close-up of people in the crowd eating sandwiches with looks of distaste.
VOICE-OVER: But a revolution is beginning. A revolution in taste, and in the way people make something that none of us can live without…
Music swells slowly as camera pans in on face of man and woman in front of crowd. A shaft of light hits their faces and brightens as they look up. Camera pans to horizon, where sun is rising.
VOICE-OVER: Something you never think about, but that millions of people use every day…
Sun rises fully in the sky. Jar of mayonnaise appears in center. Music becomes triumphant.
VOICE-OVER: Mayonnaise.
Chairman Mao’s face appears on label. Cut back to shot of man and woman as smiles break over their sun-bathed faces. Then back to jar.
VOICE-OVER: Chairman Mayo. The new spread from The People’s Republic of Food. Join the taste revolution.
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