POEM: sapling

sapling

standing under a streetlight
reading Baudelaire in its glow
while a movie downloads in my pocket

the marble steps of the library
shine with recent rain
44° on the last night of the year

to my right the hotel
where my mom learned to swim
now an old folks home

to my left the old pharmacy
above which I learned
what family meant and didn’t

the last time I came home
was the first time it felt foreign
as if I’d misplaced my memories

this time they’ve come charging back
leaping from my brain
to my heart to my gut

I browse the little bookstore
walk past the boutiques that were
the homes of family friends

I imagine myself living here
making a home where
all hope had been lost

my hands are getting cold
but it’s worth it to stand here
reading poetry, soaking it all in

you’ve got to let go of Lenox
a therapist said years ago
I’ve tried, half-heartedly

after forty new homes
and a year in a van
is it wrong to wish for roots?

I’ll plant the tree myself
let the rain do the rest
till my feet feel firm on the ground

/ / /

31 December 2021
Lenox MA