I have no natural talent for longboarding. I’ve been on one twice and managed to injure myself both times. The second time I was wearing elbow and knee pads and a helmet and still managed to make myself bleed.
Today I watched a few videos about how to longboard, including this one:
As you can see, Margaret Wallis-Duffy (!) rides a longboard smoothly for about 20 feet on her first try. IS SHE A SUPERHERO? All my rides together haven’t yet added up to 20 feet, and I’ve bled from my knee, elbow, ankle and shin, and also damaged my wrist. TWICE.
Now I will admit that it doesn’t help when the surfaces I’ve been riding on look like this:
I mean, when you land on that, you’re going to bleed. But it’s more fundamental than that.
Apparently I have no balance. I can ride a bicycle with no hands. I can stand on one foot. I can walk along a balance beam at least a bit. Or along the top of a wall. But put me on a longboard and I can’t even stand up. I fell at one point WHILE NOT MOVING. Just standing there and BAM meet the ground.
I’m committed to figuring this out. Honestly, though, I’m a little scared of it. It’s exciting to get hurt, in a way, but not so exciting that I relish the chance to cut open new parts of my body. But I’m not giving up. I’m horribly out of shape, I’m 41, and I apparently possess the on-land coordination of a wounded manatee. But I will learn to ride this goddamn thing if it kills me.
Let me rephrase that.
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