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Jason Crane Posts

Vallow saves two PK’s … and we still lose?

Published 3 August 2006 by Jason Crane

Vallow

What a nail-biter at PAETEC Park tonight. The Rochester Rhinos played the New England Revolution of MLS in the U.S. Open Cup, the oldest continuous cup competition in any sport in the U.S. After 90 minutes of regulation and 30 minutes of overtime, the score was tied at 0-0. It was on to penalty kicks. Rhinos goalkeeper Scott Vallow saved the first TWO penalty kicks, which in almost any game means that’s all she wrote. Then two Rhinos players missed their shots, and we ended up losing to the Revolution. Oy!

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Kissing Hank’s Ass

Published 2 August 2006 by Jason Crane

Hank

My good friend and longtime co-conspirator Kevin Baird sent me this little gem, titled Kissing Hank’s Ass. It’s a wonderful satire on the even more wonderful world of organized religion.

As an added public service, here’s a PDF version which you can download and put up in your cubicle or on your front door or in your church bulletin. Wherever seems appropriate.

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New section: PRESS

Published 1 August 2006 by Jason Crane

If you know me at all, you know I’m a media whore. With that in mind, I’ve added a new PRESS section to the site. It’s over there on the right side of the screen, and it contains articles about yours truly for your reading pleasure.

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Net neutrality (Daily Show style)

Published 29 July 2006 by Jason Crane

The Daily Show exposes the idiocy of Senator Ted Stevens, particularly his ignorance about the Internet … which he is in charge of regulating:

And then John Hodgeman skewers him again:

Finally, once you’ve watched those, there’s this.

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The Jason Crane Show, Episode #3…

Published 28 July 2006 by Jason Crane

…is now available at thejasoncraneshow.com. Here’s the description:

In which our hero hip-mo-tizes the listener with an 8th-grade mind trick, and the relative lack of cooperation between two groups is investigated.

Fight The Power

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The first Bush

Published 27 July 2006 by Jason Crane

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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My good friend Kevin Baird is a composer, computer code writer, geek, and all-around hip guy. About a decade ago, he used a speech by George H.W. Bush on the eve of the Gulf War to create a wonderful audio piece called “Just Two Hours Ago.” I came across the audio of the original speech recently, and I asked Kevin if I could post his version on the site. He agreed, so here you go:

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The best Philip K. Dick adaptation yet?

Published 24 July 2006 by Jason Crane

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I went with my friend Gary tonight to see A Scanner Darkly, the animated adaptation of Philip K. Dick’s 1977 novel. The film was directed by Richard Linklater, and was made with the same rotoscoping process used in Linklater’s film Waking Life. Whether or not you’re a fan of Dick’s writing, this is a film worth seeing, both for its wonderful acting and insightful commentary on American society.

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Standouts in the cast include Keanu Reeves — no, that’s not a misprint — as the protagonist and Robert Downey, Jr. as one of his cohorts. The film is playing at several locations here in Rochester, including one of our independent theaters, the Little Theatre on East Ave.

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See ya, Kent!

Published 22 July 2006 by Jason Crane

I don’t know which fact in this story I like more — that creationist Kent Hovind was arrested for not paying his taxes, or that the judge’s name was Miles Davis. Either way, it’s a great story.

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People’s Republic of Food

Published 20 July 2006 by Jason Crane

In 2000, I worked for Nikkei News Bulletin in Manhattan as a copy editor. It mostly sucked, but I rediscovered one bright spot while looking through my hard drive tonight. Here are two ads I wrote for a product line I was envisioning called People’s Republic of Food:

V.I. Lenin’s Russian Dressing
First TV Ad

SCENE: Camera enters room through doorway. In room we see a John Lennon look-alike with his back to the camera. He is seated, playing a grand piano. Lennon’s song “Imagine” plays on the soundtrack. Camera slowly closes in on man.

VOICE-OVER: Years ago, a great man told us to imagine a different world.

Song continues. Camera continues to move toward pianist.

VOICE-OVER: A world of choices. … A world of freedom.

Song continues, as does camera’s slow forward movement.

VOICE-OVER: He was a great man, and his name was Lennon.

Camera speeds up, shoots over man’s shoulder to show jar of V.I. Lenin’s Russian Dressing sitting next to a salad or sandwich. Sound of needle scratching on turntable, song stops as voice says…

VOICE: No, not that Lennon, V.I. Lenin.

Pianist’s hands open bottle of dressing, which he pours on salad/sandwich.

VOICE: V.I. Lenin’s Russian Dressing. From the People’s Republic of Food. Join The Taste Revolution.

Chairman Mayo
First TV Ad

THE SCENE: A group of people marching along a nondescript road on an overcast day. Gloomy martial music plays in the background.

VOICE-OVER: For years, people all over the world have been caught in the steel grip of two industry titans. They eat the same things every day in a world without choice.

Close-up of people in the crowd eating sandwiches with looks of distaste.

VOICE-OVER: But a revolution is beginning. A revolution in taste, and in the way people make something that none of us can live without…

Music swells slowly as camera pans in on face of man and woman in front of crowd. A shaft of light hits their faces and brightens as they look up. Camera pans to horizon, where sun is rising.

VOICE-OVER: Something you never think about, but that millions of people use every day…

Sun rises fully in the sky. Jar of mayonnaise appears in center. Music becomes triumphant.

VOICE-OVER: Mayonnaise.

Chairman Mao’s face appears on label. Cut back to shot of man and woman as smiles break over their sun-bathed faces. Then back to jar.

VOICE-OVER: Chairman Mayo. The new spread from The People’s Republic of Food. Join the taste revolution.

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Getting my Web house in order

Published 20 July 2006 by Jason Crane

So we are. JasonCrane.org is up and running, the first episode of The Jason Crane Show is on the site and on iTunes, and things seem to be humming along quite nicely, thank you.

What would any rational person do at a time like this? Make things more complicated, of course. And we all know I’m rational — it says so right next to my photo.

Here’s how my brain is working. I think that the podcast should have its own site, like it used to when it was a radio show. And like it will if it’s a radio show again someday. So I’ve revived thejasoncraneshow.com to serve as the online home of the podcast. I’m still working out how to revise the technical details for iTunes and the other listing sites. While I’m working that out, I’ll keep the shows at this site, too. But please head over to thejasoncraneshow.com to look for podcasts. Within a day or two, I should have all the feeds and iTunes subscription buttons up at that site, too.

Thanks for your patience while I work all this out.

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Subscribing to The Jason Crane Show just got easier

Published 13 July 2006 by Jason Crane

If you look along the right side of this site, you’ll see a number of feeds listed, including an RSS feed for the podcast, and an iTunes subscription link. Below those is this:

That’s a one-click iTunes subscription button. If you click on it, it will open iTunes, subscribe you to The Jason Crane Show, and start downloading the most recent show. Cool, huh? (Thanks to Dan Klass for the tip!)

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