POEM: phrenological head

phrenologicalchart

phrenological head

the way your forehead protrudes
        signals a predilection for sweet tea and guns
while the shallow curve at the back of your skull
        indicates a tendency toward gluttony
above your left ear are two bumps usually associated
        with the enjoyment of rough sex
however the pronounced guilt bump on your front temple
        somewhat mitigates this fetish
there’s an unusual peak at the top of your head
        often found in the criminally insane
though the way your browline juts is more commonly seen
        in the devoutly religious
the circumference of your skull at the level of your eyes
        suggests a below-average intelligence
which, when coupled with the oval shape of your head
        almost certainly means a sharp deterioration of the faculties
however, we feel in view of your current position
        this can be dealt with in a most discreet manner
all in all, nothing to be worried about
        this concludes our examination, Your Holiness

30 May 2013
Auburn AL

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