I’m feeling very lost, so I pulled out my deck and used the Pisces Full Moon spread by https://www.seedsofshakti.com/. I drew these cards in a grocery store cafe while my birthday came to a close. I was listening to Brian Eno’s Music For Airports.
- What emotional wounds need to be cleansed by the healing waters of the Pisces Full Moon? (Ten of Cups) In some readings of this card, the main takeaway is the rainbow, a symbol that everything will be okay. (“Everything will be okay in the end, and if it isn’t okay, then it’s not the end.”) Of course the card shows a happy family beneath that rainbow. I feel very much like I’ve lost that place of safety and stability that family provides, primarily because of the loss of my partner, but also the severing of my relationship with my parents.
- What do I need to surrender to the ebb & flow of the universal ocean? (The World) Again, a message of wholeness and accomplishment. Is that what I surrender? The need for that feeling of completion?
- What emotions is the full moon magnifying that need to be explored? (Page of Swords) Curiosity and new ideas. I’ve had some new ideas recently on ways to provide for myself. I need to put more energy into those, and into creating both stability and the ability to travel.
- How can I allow my intuition to flow with more ease? (Page of Pentacles) A card about developing skills and about financial opportunity. It’s true that more security would allow me to see more clearly. Right now I feel like I’m flailing.
- What messages is the universe sending to me as I sleep? (Three of Cups reversed) The only relevant idea I can see is financial independence. My goal has always been to live without working for anyone. I’ve never cracked it, but I’ve never quite abandoned it either.
- Message from the ancestors. (King of Wands) A card about leading and vision, and also about entrepreneurship. I kinda hate that last word. And yet what am I trying to do if not to create my own means of living, based on my own creative work? I wish for a different world, but I live in the one that exists, and working for myself might be the best outcome available for however long I have left.